you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
