I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
