i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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