1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
