...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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