I can text with my tongue
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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