I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
