I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
