the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
