shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize