Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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