Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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