I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize