operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
