you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
two words...techno handjob
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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