the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
