He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
