wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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