Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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