I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
