My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize