You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
