I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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