dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
