she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
