Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
did you just send me my own nude
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
