You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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