shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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