I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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