whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
