I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
