Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize