Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
