I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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