it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
