If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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