What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
