upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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