we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
