If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
