She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
