I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
