Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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