so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
