You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
