ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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