it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
