i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
