If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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