Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
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