I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
