If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
