If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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