I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
