i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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