So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
do herpes really smell.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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