He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
