I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
