Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
