You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize