i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The ass gains better be worth it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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