Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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