Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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