Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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