Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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