I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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