well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize