But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
