dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
