Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
